Lisa, it may be a bit difficult to organise a civil ceremony as I do not think that in Italy there are civil celebrants in the same way we have them in New Zealand or Australia (I'm an Aussie). A civil marriage ceremony is generally performed at the local council by the mayor or one of the councillors, or at a specially designated place for this particular type of events. I have not heard of formal civil wedding anniversary celebrations.
With the church it is easier as they celebrate a special Mass or incorporate a small renewal of wows ceremony in their normal Sunday Mass. This is fairly common particularly for Silver and Golden Wedding Anniversaries.
Just in case, in Italy, the 20th anniversary is the Crystal Wedding Anniversary and the colour used is yellow, particularly for the almond "confetti" and "bomboniere" that you give to your guests as a souvenir of the celebration.
Normally, the way of celebrating an anniversary in Italy is, as I said, the Mass followed by a family banquet. In this case you would try to use yellow as the main colour for decorations, cake, etc.
I guess that you wanted a small, private celebration. Well... find a very romantic venue (there are plenty throughout Italy), exchange your vows without a celebrant and then have a nice meal with "Prosecco".... the rest I leave it up to you....
Good luck!
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Gala Placidia
"Ubi bene, ibi patria"
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